Sunday, May 17, 2009

Man Meet

Now, I know many of my lady friends are currently attached. But for you single girls, Cosmo has once again saved the day. I offer you here some of the best tips from "Cosmo's Guide to Meeting More Guys!".


Fresh Meet Markets
  • Local campaign headquarters: Thanks to Obamamania, political campaigns are suddenly sexy. Get involved in summer canvassing now for a fall candidate in your area. Because, you know, the only reason to be educated about politics is to look for a potential husband.
  • Sneaker Boutiques: These shops--which feature pricey, hand-painted, and vintage shows--attract hordes of male hipsters and are popping up all over the country. Who DOESN'T want a boyfriend who spends more on shoes than you do?
  • Behind the Scenes at a Big Event: Donating your time at a cool happening--like pulling beers at a rock festival--will have you floating in a sea of fun, laid-back guys. God forbid you volunteer somewhere useful, like a homeless shelter.
  • Dude-Specific Book Signings: Pop-culture and humor authors bring out literary lads in droves. Chuck Klosterman and David Sedaris are two touring this summer. Maybe you'll get lucky and meet a guy who idolizes Tucker Max!

Great Icebreakers
  • Ask to use his cell when a friend is running late. Say, "My battery is dead. Do you mind if I call my friend to find out when she'll be here?" Then invite him to keep you company while you wait. So not only will you have to have your friend's number memorized (be honest: how many people's cell numbers do you actually know by heart?) but a random stranger will then have your friend's number saved in his phone. Great!
  • It's easy to get skittish about approaching a guy who's in the limelight, but if you're crushing on a srarving musician, artist, or writer, remember that under-the-radar creative types are desperate for praise. (Almost as desperate as you are for a date!) March right up to that gorgeous folk singer at the coffee shop and tell him you love his work. If he asks you which of his stuff you've read or heard, I'm sure you can make something up on the fly.
  • Lean toward him, say, "Ha, check this out," and show him a Twitter tweet that cracked you up. SERIOUSLY, COSMO?
Surprising Items that Bring Boys to You

- Anything with wheels: A skateboard, a scooter, vintage roller skates--guys get turned on by mobile, adventurous chicks. Good news for you wheelchair-bound ladies!

- A Crossword Puzzle: Guys love to show off how smart they are. Look stumped and he'll jump at the change to help out. Nothing like dumbing yourself down! On the bright side, if he doesn't know it, guys ALSO love being mocked mercilessly for being too stupid to figure out a crossword clue!

- Tee Shirts That Show Your Sense of Humor: If your top reads "More Cowbell," he will assume you'll be fun. Reducing your personality into a tee shirt slogan makes that annoying smalltalk unnecessary; he'll already know whether or not he likes you based on a glance at your chest. For some guys, this is true no matter WHAT shirt you have on...

- A Weird-Ass Drink: How about asking the bartender to fix you a Diablo Hell Fire Cocktail or a Good Night Kiss? Or maybe just a Roofie Colada.

- A Kindle: Right now, it's the technological equivalent of a puppy: Guys will want to hold it and play with it. This also applies to your breast, which saves you $400.

Wow! Thanks again, Cosmo, for some flawless advice for landing that man!

2 comments:

  1. Haha. These tips are so good, I am going to use them on Tim. I just can't resist good advice. I'm gonna try wearing a "More Cowbell" shirt in front of him because it's awesome, clever, and not at all tired. Also, I'm just not sure if he knows how fun I am!

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  2. Ugh. Freakin' Cosmo. I feel like it's similar to reality TV shows: It's there for intelligent people to laugh at.

    You are the Soup of lady magazines. NEVER STOP!

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