Sorry to be absent from the Blogosphere for so long. Naturally, having written one entry, I felt the immediate lack of creative energy. Here's an easy one:

Things I Accomplished Today
Subtitle: A List Much Shorter Than Things I Hoped to Accomplish

1. Cleaned AND dusted the bedroom. This involved clearing off the huge pile of stuff on my dresser, organizing all my dresser drawers, tidying my bedside table, changing the sheets on the bed, putting away shoes, and DUSTING THE SHIT OUT OF ALL THE FURNITURE. I also cleaned the bathroom.

2. Finished a book (Toni Morrison's A Mercy) and two articles. Sadly, this still leaves two more articles and some Dickensian journalism to read before Monday.

3. Made cookies. I'm having guests over tomorrow, and I'm the hostess with the fuckin' mostest.
3a. Second-degree burned my thumb with carmelizing sugar while making cookies. It's blistering. Yikes.

4. FINALLY played Peggle to the end. This has been an accomplishment weeks in the making. It felt good, Bob. It really did. For good measure, I sent Graham a screenshot of my final score, because it was one million points higher than his.




5. Read Cosmo. I subscribed to Cosmo when Amazon was having a $5-for-a-year's-subscription event. As good a deal as that is (42 cents an issue!), actually reading the magazine reminds me how much women's magazines suck. For example, I offer you a few of "The 50 Best Relationship Tips Ever":

• #14: Hang out with happy couples he knows and thinks are cool. When he sees commitment as a fun thing, he'll become more comfortable with it. (Translation: peer pressure him into dating you.)
• #15: If you think you want to marry a guy, wait to move in until you're engaged. Otherwise, he'll feel less incentive to take the next step. (His decision of whether or not to marry you depends on you playing hard to get.)
• #22: Get him to act by using humor. Point out a pile of wet towels by joking "nothing like coming him to the sweet smell of mildew!" (Note: This is also called being a huge, passive-aggressive bitch.)
• #48: If you do slip up and cheat, think very hard before you confess. Sometimes coming clean does more harm than good. (If you're already a cheater, why not be a liar, too?)

So yeah, Cosmo kind of sucks. But I'll probably still read it.

I guess that's all my accomplishments for today (now yesterday, as it is 12:36 am). Things that unfortunately did not make it onto this list are things like clean out my car, put away the Christmas tree (!), and organize the office (my desk is currently under about a foot of paper). I'm sure I'll get to those things eventually, though, right? Right.